Going back in time..
10 April 2013 
Okay, because I’m nosey and constantly thinking random thoughts I thought I’d put a few here and see what other people’s answers might be. I read Life After Life a few days ago by Kate Atkinson – which I really enjoyed. Long story short Ursula gets to keep reliving different points in her life over and over. I enjoyed this. The writing was good, characterisation excellent and settings interesting. But, this isn’t a review. It just got me to thinking. If you could literally go back in time and choose any moment, anything at all, pivotal, sad, exciting, etc, would you do something different with hindsight or would you keep things just as they are.
This is a tricky one. It’s one of those ideas that sounds really great until you start to really think about it because as soon as you start thinking of something you might change you realise it would have an impact on everything else from thereon in – and things may go in a direction that you can no longer foresee the outcome! For example I was thinking I could go back and maybe choose something different to study in college. But then I probably would have chosen a different career and never met my husband and had a family. I could have tried a little harder to swot up before exams – probably ditto above (anyway I was hopeless at revision).
I suppose I could go back a few years and not succumb to the entreaties of my children to get a family dog – which then doubled to two – I would certainly have less chores now – but, they are lovely, they don’t judge you, they keep you company. So no.
Maybe I could start a stamp collection instead of reading!!! Well, at least it wouldn’t be quite as messy. But no.
It’s difficult to choose something. The only thing that I can come up with is a little bit sad – I’d go back to the day my gran passed away and get to the hospital earlier so I could speak to her one last time.
What about you, do you have something you would change, do you think it would be a good change or are you blissfully happy. I bet you’ll find this a lot harder than you originally think.
I have 4 definite candidates: two of them have to do with the way I, as a callouse teenager, treated would-be-sweethearts (wouldn’t have changed anything to have been a little more civilised, I don’t think!!). The other two have to do with stupid newspaper interviews where I simply didn’t think on my feet fast enough, lost credibility for the campaign, and lost a golden opportunity to win a few supporters. Like Ursula I keep on re-living them, unlike Ursula I don’t have the possibility of changing anything. Otherwise, you are right Lynn: all the little things that could have been done differently would have led to life changes. The slightest little thing would have changed everything: I met my husband on a hitch-hiking tour in Norway (he picked me up, literally!) and we’ve been happily married for 33 years!
It probably wouldn’t hurt to be a little more civilised for sure but hindsight is a thing of beauty! And, I guess I could have taken a leaf from that book too – perhaps it’s just when you’re younger you’re less polite or more to the point not as aware of any one else’s feelings!
I wonder how many people actually regret something said in a newspaper interview – not that this will ever happen to me!!
The general consensus here is that we’re all a pretty happy bunch and don’t want to change anything. Which basically is pretty neat!
I don’t really think there’s too much point in looking back. In fairness the book isn’t about looking back but more ‘what ifs’? It just made me wonder.
Lynn 😀
Oh trust me I’ve made mistakes, have regrets, and have messed up on other fronts that I don’t even know how to define. Yet, I love my life now. so I just can’t go back and make changes. Who knows how I would screw up the second chance. I’ve proven that I’m a dolt. at least I’m a happy idiot.
It would be difficult to learn without mistakes wouldn’t it! I love my life too even though, like you, I’ve made a few boobs along the way! A happy dolt! That’s me to a tee!
Lynn 😀
I wouldn’t change anything. Not to say I haven’t made mistakes or done things I regret but if I hadn’t done those things I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Exactly, it’s the sort of thing that you think if I could go back would I change anything but as soon as you think about it the real answer is no because you don’t really want to change who you are now. I suppose I could go back to last night and have a few glasses of wine – or maybe I could just go and buy a bottle now for tonight! Not exactly life changing but that’s the point.
Lynn 😀
I wouldn’t go back. I’m not one to hang on to regrets, and I’m happy today. Actually, maybe I’d go back to this past Tuesday and go out for ice cream by myself since nobody else wanted to. Presuming I didn’t have a wreck or anything unusual like that, it wouldn’t make any difference, but would have made my evening happier.
That’s it exactly – just little things, like I wouldn’t leave my keys in the wrong place or forget to set the alarm yesterday and be late in! Otherwise it appears we’re all a pretty happy bunch 😀
Lynn
I heard about After Life on Radio 4’s Open Book. It sounded interesting but I have a stack of library books already! I’m not sure if I would go back and change things. I figure it’s best to keep ploughing on. If I didn’t have a choice I would change university courses and work harder.
I agree and, it seems, so does everyone else here! No looking back, live in the here and now.
To be fair to the book – it’s not really about going back – it’s more it gives you a scene (for example Ursula might die) then it goes back to that same night with a different ending and then shows you her life going forward until the next incident – which may have a different set of possible outcomes. It was enjoyable but I’m a bit like you with the library books. I go and look on line – the book’s already ‘out’ so I reserve it, plus others, and then they all come back together! And then I’m swamped!
Lynn 😀
During my break in work today I popped in to a library to return a book and ended up walking out with three new ones 😉
I can picture that all too easily. It happens to me all the time!
Lynn 😀
Back in 2001, I was given a career choice. I made my choice, and then was very, very unhappy for the next year. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I taken that other offer, but I often shove that thought aside as I quite enjoy the work I do now. But I had to go through hell to get where I am today. Probably took a few years or a decade off my life.
But, you do love your job now and the other job is one of those variables isn’t it – that you look back on and think ‘what if’ but when, in actual fact, it could have been much worse than the choice you eventually made.
I suppose it’s natural for us to think ‘what if’ really.
Lynn 😀